Gender Equality

Hello again!

I'm terribly sorry for the topic of this post (no really, I am) because it's so bloody overdone. I've never seen a personal blog without some reference to it somewhere and generally they're all saying variations of the same thing. I try not to write about things when I feel I can't contribute to the debate because.. well, what's the point in reading the same opinion (no matter how relevant) regurgitated for the umpteenth time unless it actually gives another perspective? If I want to show my support for something I share it on my Facebook page, there's really no need for a blog about it. Now for the sake of clarity I've phrased this in question form, I apologise if this comes across as patronising.

Why are you doing this to us then Siobhán? WHY?!

Well recently someone showed me an article in the Guardian on the subject of feminism and gender equality. While it went into the complications of gender equality vs feminism vs everything else, it made me realise that I've never actually seen an article or post of any kind that puts forth my feelings on the matter. This article got some of it, but there are still bits that I disagree with in there and that always seems to be the case. Also my feelings on the matter are quite difficult to express so I usually end up conceding the argument quite quickly for lack of energy.

Ok, to start with: what is feminism?

You're probably reading this thinking "Jesus Christ, how flipping condescending is this person? Any reasonable person knows what feminism is!". Unfortunately this just isn't true. I've witnessed many different attitudes and definitions, and I'm not even an activist. Depending on who you ask, feminism can be defined as the promotion of women's rights, the promotion of equal rights and/or the demotion of men's rights. This isn't even including those who think one gender is inherently better than another and still call themselves feminists¹. As the original article stated, it's not as simple as

The definition of feminism that I think is most reasonable and sums up my feelings on it best is this:

Feminism is the promotion of women's rights, with the aim of creating a society where women and men exist as equals.

So you're a feminist then, by that definition?

No, not really. By the above definition it's a movement that I definitely support, but I wouldn't call myself a feminist. My only real issue with feminism is that it focusses primarily on one gender - even in its name. This means that people look around and see women in power and think "Great! We can be done with this whole feminism malarkey now!" or see a man passed over for promotion in the name of feminism and think "Feminism is putting men at a disadvantage, they've gotten what they want and now they're just being spiteful!". In my experience, using 'gender equality' instead of 'feminism' cuts out this problem quite well.

If 'feminism' and 'gender equality' are both working towards the same goal then what's the difference?

To me the difference is sustainability. I have no idea what the future will hold for gender roles and gender equality. In my grandmother's time she legally had to give up her job when she got married, my mother on the other hand kept her maiden name and has had a thriving career, only marrying our father when my sister and I were 9 and 6 respectively. A large reason for my parents getting married when they did was the fact that Irish law recognised the rights of a married mother over those of an unmarried mother living with the father of her children, yet in 2012 we passed a referendum that went a long way to remedy this.

With the development of our society so uncertain, I feel it's important that we allow for equality in every long-term decision we make. Here's a somewhat controversial example of what I mean:
There's a business (roughly 25 years old, not family owned). The CEO is male, as are 19 of the 20 board members. Over the years there have been many qualified women who have applied for positions in the company but somehow almost all of the female employees are working at very low level stations and usually as secretaries or assistants. There's an atmosphere of acceptance when it comes to sexual harassment and aside from a yearly 2-hour talk there is nothing done about any complaints.
All in all, a misogynist and oppressive atmosphere has built up over the years and it'd suck to be a woman working there. It's the next bit where the opinions start to differ.
Feminism: Firstly, affirmative action. We implement a system whereby there have to be at least 7 female board members at any given time, as well as similar requirements at various levels of the organisation. Secondly we increase the number of sexual harassment seminars, make them compulsory and make sure that the protocols for reporting such behaviour are easily followed and the punishments enforced. We then need to have a good long talk with this CEO fellow and make sure he understands that he will be monitored and there will be consequences if this continues.
Gender Equality: Firstly, affirmative action. We implement a system whereby there have to be at least 7 female and 7 male board members at any given time, as well as similar requirements at various levels of the organisation. Secondly we increase the number of sexual harassment seminars, make them compulsory and make sure that the protocols for reporting such behaviour are easily followed and the punishments enforced. We then need to have a good long talk with this CEO fellow and make sure he understands that he will be monitored and there will be consequences if this continues.
There was one difference there. Just one. The thing is though is that, for me, that one difference turns 'positive discrimination' into 'equal opportunities hiring'. It allows for nobody to feel like they were discriminated against for their gender, and if the situation were ever reversed it allows for the same problems not to arise again.

But women are disadvantaged already! That's like splitting €100 equally between someone with nothing and someone with €50; the person with nothing needs to be given more to make it equal.

Yes, as it stands women are significantly disadvantaged. But is it not equally wrong to give one person the full €100 and leave the other with just €50²? The gender equality plan is giving women more than it's giving men. In the original structure women were guaranteed nothing and anything more than that was an anomaly. Men, on the other hand, were given more than their fair share of opportunity, given that 50% of the competition was automatically dismissed. The women here have received much more from the scheme, as they should have. It just allows for men and women now to be at the same starting point. We've given €75 to the women, €25 to the men and hopefully set the stage for an environment where the two genders are equal and the majority gender depends only on who deserves to work there.

See how happy we would be if we all weighed the same?

To sum up..

I think in an ideal world men and women would be treated equally, but currently this isn't the case. I believe that promoting women's rights in the form of mutual rights will be more efficient in getting to this ideal world. I also think that history shows we can evolve quickly as a society and mutual rights guarantees that misogyny and other forms of inequality don't raise their ugly heads again as they are so keen to do. I think that the term 'gender equality' has a more clear definition than 'feminism' and that is why I prefer using it. There are a bunch of other terms floating around the place but these I find are the simplest and most well-known.

Thank you for your time, I sincerely hope I didn't bore you to death. Oh and no applause necessary lads, I've got it covered..

¹ Not just putting women above men, but I have also seen people who see it as akin to animal rights - you should treat your dog well, but you wouldn't let it vote.

² The reason I use these numbers is because I want to emphasise that I do believe, no matter how much we give women, that men will never be as disadvantaged as women once were. They will always have their €50. I do still think it's better though for everyone to have €75.

The Shape of Things To Come

There have been several posts that I've wanted to write over the last little while. There are many reasons why I didn't write them, but mostly they came down to one recurring annoyance; me.

Hey, I'm the kind of person who writes a personal blog, you can't expect me to not be self-centred. There have been 6 personal pronouns so far out of only 65 words - and it only gets worse from here on in.

Basically all of it's got me thinking about the nature of opinions. I have refrained from expressing mine because I feel like who I am makes them somehow less valid. Who am I to comment on wisdom at age 21? How can I justify talking about stereotypes when I fit so many of them? Then again.. does being 21 allow me to comment on the ignorance of some 12-year-olds? Can I complain about stereotypes, so long as I avoid the ones that apply to me?

Actually I kind of think most of what I just said is bullshit. The problem is that thinking it's bullshit doesn't stop me from allowing it to shape my opinions. This is annoying me to no end. The thing is, I don't think it's a me-being-annoying thing so much as a human-nature-sucking thing. I look at the people around me and I can see it influencing them - whether they bow to it like me or over compensate for it, it still shapes them.

This is why I wanted to write this, I want to be clear about a few things when it comes to future posts:

I am a middle class white female. None of my opinions or decisions represent those of other middle class white females. They are their own people with their own opinions for their own reasons.

I am in a long term relationship with a male. I am still entitled to my opinions on sexuality, relationships and romance. These opinions have not been solely formed based on this relationship, and please do not presume to know my romantic history or how it may or may not have affected me - only a couple of people know everything there is to know, and even they have only heard it from my own biased perspective.

I am young. My peers and other influences growing up have influenced the way I think and process information, so if you are significantly older or younger than I am please do not write off my opinions because of this but instead try to put yourself in my shoes.

I'm not overly smart, but I'm not stupid either. I don't know everything. I will never know everything. I try not to comment on things unless I feel I have a reasonable understanding of it based on several reliable sources. If I'm way off base on the facts (not opinions, mind you) I'd appreciate being told or given the benefit of the doubt, please do not assume it is my age or deliberate ignorance getting in the way.

I have a long-term illness. It sucks, but I'm happy. I have a great life, genuinely. Feel free to have sympathy for the fact that I'm sick, but please don't pity me. If nothing else there's no reason for it. Also it's patronizing as all hell.

I love my family. My good relationship with my family shouldn't really affect how seriously my views on family, children, relationships and family issues (divorce, abuse, etc.) are taken.

I'm trying not to disclose anything here that I wouldn't tell an acquaintance in a five minute conversation - not just on this post but on the blog in general. It's easy to forget that this won't just be seen by the two or three friends who make a point of reading it, or even just by the people I'm friends with on Facebook. The internet is public and though I want to share my views and have them out there, I hate the idea of them being written off just because it was me who said them. We are all who we are, for better or worse. We should try to improve ourselves where possible but I feel like even if I'm just shot down and corrected that's improvement. Just as long as they're shot down for being incorrect, not because I'm blond or whatever.

I tried a few times to make this sound less bitter, uppety and generally patronizing but I couldn't. Just please take my word for it that I was erring on the side of clarity. Mostly I was just trying to write a disclaimer for when future posts are taken the wrong way (or taken the right way, but where I didn't think before I typed).