The Princess Bride

I can't read.

It's odd, I know, and quite embarrassing as far as secrets go. But it's true. I mean obviously I know the alphabet and I can make sense of words on a page or screen, but when it comes to making sense of a full page of script or more I just can't do it.

It's not that I never learned - I did - it's just that since I got sick about five years ago I simply don't have the concentration. I can read the odd paragraph here and there or maybe a short article, but I just can't seem to make my brain follow a storyline properly. Allow me to try to explain..

You know when you're really exhausted and about to go to bed, but there's a great book you're just dying to finish? It's sitting on your bedside table and no matter how difficult it is just to keep your eyes open, you just can't resist picking it up.. just for one chapter.. maybe two? It doesn't take long for you to realise that you've spent about five minutes on one page, and worse still reading the same paragraph over and over. You then realise that you still don't know what that paragraph says. At this point you usually give up (unless you're the particularly stubborn type) and resign yourself to stay in suspense for another night. Well with ME/CFS your concentration is at that level for all but maybe 40 minutes in the day - and that's with the help of narcolepsy drugs. Others may differ, but to be honest I don't want to spend those 40 minutes reading. It's not that I don't think reading is important, it's just that I wasn't much of a reader before I got sick and there are hundreds of other things I want to do with that time.

Before now I was only comfortable with about a handful of people knowing about this. Reading is such a basic thing, and everyone I know considers it to be a huge part of life. I'm well aware that there are more people in the world who can't read and write than who can, but in South Dublin it is most certainly the other way around (and I have the terrible misfortune of being surrounded by very intelligent, very well educated and very kind friends and family who keep trying to share and discuss things with me; usually involving articles or books or such things. Bastards).

The Princess Bride has been my favourite film since I was 12, when my Godfather, Frank Wynne, bought me the DVD along with Pretty in Pink and Crossroads (the first two because he couldn't believe I hadn't seen them, the last because I apparently begged him - lies and slander by the way). It was love at first viewing. This Christmas he gave me the book.

I've read 87 pages in 3 hours. This may not be impressive to most, but given the long ramble above about how I haven't read in properly in five years I'm fairly chuffed. Before now my favourite book was The Stars My Destination, but I'm afraid now it may have to be moved to second place. I just love it. To anyone who hasn't read it (whether you have seen/enjoyed the film or not) you really really need to. And for me, this is the book that allowed me to read again. I don't think I could be more happy about this. Knowing the storyline so well means that being unable to properly follow the text isn't a problem, but yet there's still so much more that it holds my interest and compels me to read on.

I've been wanting to start a blog for such a long time - I've even given it a stab a couple of times before - but I always come to the conclusion that if I can't even read, what business have I writing? Maybe it's because it's Christmas day, maybe it's because I'm in the middle of one of my favourite stories of all time, but I figure that today is the day to begin boring you all with opinions and ravings that you never asked to hear in the first place. If you have any complaints you can direct them to Frank, it's all his fault. Also you should check out is writings and translations, particularly his own book I Was Vermeer.

For now though, I shall pop off and continue my readings.

Merry Christmas everyone!